Dr. Cheryl D. Lovell, CEO

For Success in Leadership and Life

DrCherylLovell.org

 

I am writing this in my Journal on July 2,2024 at roughly 6AM.

The ride home was a long, rushed transition more like a space capsule returning from an exploration and now attempting to reenter the earth’s atmosphere. The heat shields have fallen off, the capsule is spinning, and I am falling fast as I plunge hard into the great ocean waters of my life on earth. Back safely, though like many other out of this world experiences, I am not returning the same. I have no words for it but I can sense I have changed in fundamentally deep ways.

I am alone sitting on the couch in our rented condo looking at the lake and watching the sun starting to shine on the water and bouncing off the waves. I can see the pontoon we rented for the week rocking slowing against the dock waiting for us to take it out for a day of sun, fishing, and relaxation. I am sitting here by myself looking at my Journal and it is very quiet.  I sense lots of emotions. Nancy is still asleep as is Brenda both relaxing from their three long days in the sun and on the water.

Tears are running down my face and I am wondering if 90 seconds is long enough to wait for it all to come out. Something tells me it is not long enough as I tapped a deep spot of long term feelings and emotions while at the Awaken Coach Institute in Spain.

How to return? How to integrate the Spain experiences into my on-going work as a Coach and Consultant to individuals and organizations? How to keep the brave spaces going? The brave spaces we so eagerly created and needed. How to continue the warmth of my courageous fellow explorers now that I am back in the US without them? How to keep it going without my cohort, my fellow explorers, who quickly became lifelong colleagues and friends while in Spain?

I recall asking these questions about how to return while we were still in Spain as our Institute was coming to a close and we were about to wrap up our final few sessions. I then found myself wondering how can we keep our reflective, rigorous, and spiritual practices alive without the structure and intentionality of the Institute? What do we tell our families about how we have changed? How do we communicate with our clients, colleagues, and friends what we experienced in just two weeks that could have been so impactful?

Now just over a month after my return, I set out to better understand why I was so impacted.

What is a transformation?

For me it is important to think about what exactly is a personal or professional transformation. I see it as a process of growth and an evolving development in self awareness where we also change certain characteristics,  beliefs, and/or thoughts. I also think it is about becoming the person I want to be. In essence with a transformation, we change ourselves. I certainly learned new theoretical perspectives on coaching as well as new techniques. I learned more about the flow of a coaching session, how to embody the coaching mindset, and how to ask powerful questions to help me develop a different way of supporting my clients. I also gained a strong focus on my own presence in the coaching process. It was also impactful to have keen insights into the power of metaphors and how clients may be saying one thing but perhaps meaning something else. I gained a deeper appreciation for silence as well as understanding how beliefs are structured. Through these and other insightful learning opportunities, I gained a great deal and expanded my abilities as a coach. I think I made a personal and professional transformation as a shift has allowed me to function at increased levels in many important aspects of my personal and professional life.

In my quest to further understand what is evolving within me and with my work as a coach, I have learned more about transformations and found Angel Carlton’s Six Stages of Transformation to be helpful. Carlton notes we begin the transformational process first with realization, the “aha” moments about yourself and what you expect out of life begins to develop. I think some of the coaching techniques about my presence as a coach was an “aha” moment for me. Followed then by a release period where one lets go of thoughts or beliefs that no longer “fit” so one can carve out new spaces for new ways of being. I found myself putting my old approaches and methodologies under a microscope and saw some were not as helpful as I thought, so I am working on letting them go.

Rebound is the point when one takes the time to try on the new beliefs or perspectives and moves into the transformation. The opportunity to practice coaching was a game changer for me as we were invited to “try on” our new learnings and see first hand how they could be useful. Reinvent is when one is aware of making new choices, new decisions which were identified during the realization stage. Seeing new techniques becoming useful in helping a client move forward is where I began to reinvent myself as a coach. Trying to move past difficult circumstances and move forward is the resurrect period where one sees their life differently and begins to think deeper about making a difference in the world. Carlton says one “begins to live in higher self awareness and enlightenment.” Moving beyond some of my prior approaches has allowed me to resurrect myself as a stronger coach

Finally, transformation culminates with a quest to make a positive impact, to be a better person, perhaps be a role model for others and it is the sixth period Carlton calls respond. The transformational process involves removing distractions and confusions which keeps one from reaching one’s full potential. This is such an important aspect to my personal and professional life where I have a mission, a purpose, to leave the world a better place. I want to make a difference and to give others the support and tools the need to thrive.

Am I transformed or transforming?

I think I am well on my way of with the transformational process and find most of my self reflection focused on seeing the world differently. I am not yet convinced it is a one and done process but rather a continuous self examination. It is a pathway forged during my time in Spain which can be reinforced with my desires to keep learning. Learning about others. Learning to walk into the labyrinth quietly and reflectively then turning around to walk out confident and brave. I am a brave courageous coach who makes a difference in the world.

Seems like some of my questions were answered during my time in Spain. Some questions are still evolving and some experiences are still unfolding. Perhaps I am wrestling with as many questions as I had at the beginning of the Institute. Different ones though. Perhaps now deeper ones about my work and about my life. I think I have accomplished one key goal of asking better and deeper questions to support my clients. I just did not expect to have such a profound experience with deeper and better questions for my own personal growth and development. Hmm. Gives me a reason to pause!